Angry At The World

Ugh. These past couple of days have been just too much. I am so angry. Angry at things that are completely beyond my control. But no matter how much I keep telling myself its out of my hands, my emotions still attack it like I could change the outcome. I am so frustrated. One minute I am all weepy about it, crying and asking G-d to sway the odds in my favor. The next minute, I am furious that I would beg someone to do a certain task, finally give up on asking them and accept them for who they are and what they are willing to do, that person leaves, and then does EXACTLY the same task I BEGGED them to do when we were in contact...It blows my mind. I am a rollercoaster of emotions about this situation, and I hate it. I wish my mind would just pick a side and stick with it. Tonight is one of those nights where I am FURIOUS at the person in question, although in reality I have no right to be, but I can't understand why I feel such hatred towards the person in question. Of course, to make it all worse I can't help but feel like all this emotion coming out of me is the result of me loving this person so deeply, and the fact that I know that I can never have what I want makes me angry...I don't know anymore...
On top of that, it seems like my social life is taking a toll. When I want to go out, no one seems like they can go, due to work, family, etc. Yet when I have to work or study for an exam, the phone is ringing off the hook! All these invites to go out...and I can't. I simply cannot sync my schedule with the rest of the world apparently.
All in all, I feel like I am Rapunzel...Trapped in a tower built on my own...my own hardened heart has made me a wall to shield me from potential heartbreak...Even after I spent so much time rescuing a Prince Charming from his own tower...How Ironic. So I guess I will have to sit back and wait for my TRUE Prince Charming to come rescue me, to break down my wall and see the real me, and all the love that I have to give to someone.
Just please come soon, my sweet Prince.